The RZA, Fish Tanks, and Long Walks -- A Young Man's Key to a Life of Legacy

Latino College Prep High School student, Adrian Chavez, writes on who he is and how he wants to be remembered. While reflecting on these topics, Adrian expresses the struggles he deals with while he grows into the man he wants to be. These writings are part of a running publishing series. Feel free to comment, and publishers will share with authors.

I'm a person that is full of hate. But not just any kind of anger but anger that if I let it out it will cause some terrible things in a negative way. When I get angry I feel like if there is something else inside of my body. I feel my heart pumping harder and harder. My mind puts up a force field that does not let anything get in it, so when they try to calm me down its very difficult for it to happen because I will not listen. My mind will not react to nothing their telling me. It just keeps on getting full of anger and its when I start thinking all crazy and I just want to do some stupid things. While I am stuck in that time zone I really do not care about what I will do. My main objective is to just get out my anger so I can feel good. But I have never thought about how I can not just hurt myself but also the people that are around me and care about me too.

When I am not mad I am a very outgoing person that likes to enjoy every minute of life. I like to enjoy time with my friends because they are like family to me, I especially like to spend time with my boys cause I treat them like my brothers since I do not have any. I also spend most of my time singing to people for no reason, maybe it's just because I like them to feel my happiness too. When I am this way everything that I feel when I'm mad is the opposite. In my mind there is nothing in it but laughters, my heart is not filled with anger no more but just full of love and happiness. I do not think about hurting any people, just making them happy.

The things that I do so I will not hurt the people around me is listening to music, take a pretty long nice walk, and sitting next to a fish tank and watch fishes swim around. When I listen to music, you probably think that I might be listening to some jazz or rainforest sounds to relax myself. But no, that's not it, I actually do the opposite. I listen to narco corridos which is a type of mexican music that talk about the cartels in mexico and about the most powerful drug lords and their best sicarios (hitmen). This type of music calms me down because everything that they talk about in their songs are exactly the same things that I feel like doing. So when I listen to them instead of me doing those things I can just listen about it in the songs.

Another thing that calms me down is going for a long walk. I like to walk from my house all the way to Evergreen High School which is about a forty five minute walk. When I am walking, I do not walk to fast as if I am trying to do exercise, or slow as if I am trying to kill time, but just in the middle of those -- which can get my heart rate up and my blood circulating. I just do not like walking, I like to look around and observe all the beautiful things such as the birds flying, people walking their dogs, and the way that the trees will shake with the low winds. Also, those long walks give me time to think about the stupid way that I acted when I was mad and to reflect on myself about that. I also have a chance to clear my mind since I am just relaxing with no stress on me. And it's just me and that road that I walk on.

The third thing that calms me down is sitting down in front of a fish tank watching the fishes swim. I know this might be kind of weird but it really does work. I found out that I really liked to do that when I was around fourteen years old, a day that I just sat in front of one and I stayed there watching them for like almost two hours and to me it just felt like a couple of minutes. When I see the fishes swim with no worries I just wish that could be me just living a life with no worries or anything. I also like lakes, rivers and creeks because they make that sound of water moving. And just the sound of it makes me get in my peace zone. I also like the way the sun hits the water and the reflection creates a huge picture of it in the water.

I am the person who does not care what other people think of me, but when it comes down to the people I care for I begin to think before I speak. I want my loved ones to remember me as the guy who smiled with everyone because I enjoyed having a good time. I want to be remembered as the guy who is caring enough to know when to mess with someone and when to stop. I want people to respect me because that is all I would always give -- respect. As in the future for my children, I want them to remember me as the most honorable person, the person who put their lives before my own.

After looking at my legacy I can relate it to The RZA . I can relate my legacy with his because we both almost think the same. We both want to inspire people to do good things and to never give up. For example, a quote that I really like from him was, “Don't let the Devil tell you that you can't change things, because you can.” I really like this quote because it tells you that if you ever try to change something for a good cause, and you feel that you can not do it, you do not have to worry, you just have to try it. This is very important because a lot of people have amazing ideas to change things and make things better, but they do not speak up because they are afraid.

Another quote from The RZA that I can relate to is, “Once man destroys the Devil in himself, he will be able to conquer hell.” I really like this quote because it is trying to say that once you destroy your fear you are gonna be able to conquer any obstacle that you face. This relates to my life because I have lost a lot of opportunities all because I was scared of the things that I had to to.

People should really think about how they would like to be remembered when they are alive, not just on funeral days. 

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More De-Bug High Articles:

American Dream is a Sinister Nightmare

Memoirs of a Young Bus Rider

Dear Nancy

Summertime for Us: Probation Youth Reflect

About De-Bug High

De-Bug High offers youth perspectives on the issue of the day by tapping into the writers, artists, and visionaries going to our Silicon Valley schools.

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